What I Think About When I Talk About My Job
One of my earliest childhood memories involves creating a kindergarten project titled "What I Want to Be When I Grow Up." I remember sitting at our kitchen table with a colorful piece of paper, assisted by my father, as I listed the following occupations:
- An astronaut
- A rally driver
- A football goalkeeper
Despite my ambitious dreams at such a young age, I never came close to fulfilling any of those wishes. Serbia's space program is non-existent, and my driving skills are good enough to get me around Belgrade. At least I used to drive a rally car (a Toyota Yaris, although not the GR one). As for football, I made it to my high-school class team based solely on the fact that I met the following requirements:
- Are you a boy? - [YES]
- Are there more than 5 boys in your class, creating an actual competition for the goalie spot? - [NO]
My brief stint as a goalkeeper ended gloriously in the high-school tournament semi-final, after saving two penalties. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough.
Now, 25 years after that kindergarten assignment, I find myself reflecting on the same colorful piece of paper. However, this time, the paper has transformed into a dark-themed page on my text editor. The question remains the same: "What do I want to be when I grow up?"
I pursued my love for the English language by studying English language and literature in college. Ever since I was five years old, I have had a deep affection for the language. However, I never wanted to become a teacher, so I reluctantly embarked on the path of a Customer Support Representative - a career dreaded by many.
Discovering Technical Writing
My journey into technical writing began almost by accident. The company where I worked as a customer support representative had an opening for a technical writer role, focusing on the same product. I applied, successfully passed the interview, and landed the job. It seemed quite simple. At that time, I had only a vague understanding of what the job entailed. I was too preoccupied with crafting perfect sentences, spending hours meticulously reviewing each article to avoid any potential embarrassment.
Reflections on Five Years in Technical Writing
Five years is a lot of time (equivalent to an entire Olympics) and during that period many things can change. In the professional sense, my perspective on my work shifted significantly. I began to develop a strong dislike for it, surpassing the typical "Monday blues." I started harboring negative feelings toward everything associated with my job and career. I started getting anxious by simply thinking about deadlines, peer reviews, releases... I would jump at the sound of a Slack message and dreaded opening my inbox.
This feeling followed me even after changing companies several times (one could accuse me of job-hopping). I still haven't managed to pin point exact reasons for this. The closest I came to it is that I never really wanted to be technical writer. I got some really good things from this career (worked in the same team with my now wife, traveled a bit, met some really great people...) but I never actually enjoyed it. I can't say I haven't tried to enjoy it and improve my skills. I spent so much time reading about technical writing on blogs, learning additional skills, always trying to be up-to-date. And I get so jealous when I hear people talking with such a proud about their work. Whether they are teachers, doctors, chefs or candlemakers, you can always tell the difference between the person enjoying their work and just doing it. And I'm not even sure I'm doing actual good work. Perhaps this is the imposter syndrome, but I'm still afraid of reviews and the fact that my documentation is subpar.
What to do now when you're in your 30s
Now that I've spent 56 years in this role, and lost my job twice due to recession, I feel that it's the right moment to make a decision. Either continue working as a technical writer or try learning something new.
The beauty of this job is that you have almost infinite number of topics to learn. Currently, my plan is to learn as much as possible about automation and apply those skills to my job. If I settled on being a technical writer, at least I can try and be as technical as possible. Learning about Python and PowerShell proved to be a great way for that. It's not a smooth sailing all the time, but challenges are part of the process. In the meantime I passed the Azure Fundamentals exam, and enjoyed the learning process. It was fun to sit at the desk again, create flashcards and take notes (though my budget didn't appreciate me buying all those pens and markers). The best outcome of this course and exam isn't the fact that now I know what VM is and how to deploy it. It's the fact that I still have the desire and grit for learning new things.
Whenever I have time in my week I dedicate a couple of hours for sitting at my desk and learning. First PowerShell, than Python, after that perhaps German language.